Language update

So, my language goals and learning are all over the place right now. Haven't done so much with Uyghur or Chinese since the end of the semester. I will start doing more starting with the new year because I hope to have more time not taken away by crazy stressful things.

As of New Years, I was hoping to complete the first passive wave of my Assimil Japanese Vol 1 book and move on to the second book, but that will have to wait until later this week because I am at 42 of the 49 lessons. I was more consistent than I thought, but not quite there. I am also working through the third lesson of my Lingua Latina book, which is fun because there is no English, only Latin. I haven't tried to use a dictionary yet, but I can figure out what things say. I think this will bring my Latin skills up to a reasonable level again rather quickly.

I am thinking about trying to do some Uyghur research in Japan. I've heard a lot about Japanese interest in the region, and I would be curious to know the motivations and the effects of that. I hear that there are some older Uyghur texts that exist in Japan, that probably do not elsewhere because of the shear awesomeness of China's preservation of historical and literary documents.

the times that you just cannot sigh deeply enough

So, instead of getting out of the hospital today, my grandfather is going to have heart surgery on Monday because of some problems that have arisen.

This month has just been too much stress. Please pray.

still here

Hey everyone who reads this. The last month has been full of a lot of stress and anxiety through work, school/finals, and health issues. To those who do not know, my father was diagnosed with a pituitary tumor that was putting pressure on his optical nerves that distorted his vision to a great extent. The surgery went really well; we were really blessed by that. After 5 days in the hospital he was home in time for Christmas, and his vision has undistorted, but it is still blurry. I really appreciate everyone's prayers and support. It has been very good and necessary. Christmas was different this year than most, but it was actually really nice. Good times with family. Thank you!

My Japanese friend's father also was in the hospital with a serious pneumonia. It sounds like it could be ARDS or something similar, but in the last serveral days he has been recovering some amount. He is out of critical condition. I've been praying, but wow, that is a lot to manage being away from home. Please remember her and her family in your prayers.

Today I learned that my grandfather went to the hospital because he was feeling very bad. There may be some sort of heart problem, but he was dehydrated, and may not have eaten very much. He was transferred to a different hospital and is doing alright right now. We had a good time with my grandparents on Christmas, and I went stomping through the woods with him trying to take some pictures. It was good, but I hope he is okay. Also remember him in your prayers.

I've noticed some things about my personality or tendencies through these last few weeks. I think feeling out of control of situations ends up drawing a bad attitude out, and draws up a lot more issues with lust or mean-spiritedness in my attempts to regain control of something. Those things have healed a lot over the last couple years as I have been following Christ, but there are still some things left to work on.

In other news, there is always the question of relationships. I've been doing a lot of thinking and praying this semester about myself and about pursing romance. I think about the changes in lifestyle that not being single would bring about. Time being the one big issue. I also think how much I mess up and how confusing feelings become, and it terrifies me. I mean, if I was to end up marrying someone, she would most certainly have to be gracious. To put up with the things I do / me. And deep down, I know I do not deserve that. I suppose I sound kind of self-deprecating, but I think it's something to remain sober about. I mean, when there is conflict, when there is tension, I don't always do the right thing. So, these are issues of deep down insecurity, I suppose. But it's helpful for me to be aware of them and to use them in a healthy way. But do I make a move? When? Not too much clarity is coming, so I will keep waiting a bit longer.

OK, I may try to go to sleep soon, I could use the rest. Thanks everyone for everything.

games

There are a few games that I've been wanting to play for quite some time. The first is a set of games that were developed for university classrooms simulating a historical period. A list of these games. I would primarily be interested in The Threshold of Democracy: Athens in 403 B.C. or Confucianism and the Succession Crisis of the Wanli Emperor, 1587 . I think such a simulation would be quite fun as well as intriguing.

The other is a game I first read about in Douglas Hofstadters's Metamagical Themas a few years ago. The game is called Nomic and it is a self-amending game. Here is the description taken from the previous link:

Nomic is a game in which changing the rules is a move. In that respect it differs from almost every other game. The primary activity of Nomic is proposing changes in the rules, debating the wisdom of changing them in that way, voting on the changes, deciding what can and cannot be done afterwards, and doing it. Even this core of the game, of course, can be changed. (Peter Suber, The Paradox of Self-Amendment, Appendix 3, p. 362)

I don't know when I will ever have an opportunity to play these games, the first set due to them restricted to certain universities, and the second due to a lack of finding folks who would be willing to play. Maybe some day.

strange dream

So last night, I woke up about 2 AM after having woken from one of the oddest dreams I've ever had in my life. I wish I would have written it down whenever I woke up, but I thought about parts of it as carefully as I could before I went back to sleep, so I remember some parts of it.

here we go....remember, this is a dream, and it's wonky

Apparently, a brand new extravagant building had been built in Lawrence--just the sort of building that is not at all likely to be built in Lawrence. This was made by some sort of church or for some organization. So there was some kind of ceremony at this building that I went to with a lot of people. The architecture of the building is difficult to me to describe, but it seemed open in the middle with two sides with a balcony




This thing was ginormous. The drawing doesn't really do it justice, nor is it quite accurate, but I felt like messing around in sketchup. And I was standing up on one of the balconies up at top on a kind of tower cylinder thing. But there was a speaker at the ceremony. I remember nothing other than being quite bored with the speaker and noting how exceptionally nothing was really said, just empty words. Then the platform I was on started to fall, and other parts of the building quickly lowered to the ground. It changed the shape, but I was falling into a hole. I managed to grasp the edge and pull myself out. Then I went back home feeling quite out of my element.

I started talking to some of my friends and I found that a lot of people were acting very strangely. I think most people in town had gone to this event, and rather than finding it rather meaningless, they found it incredibly satisfying, and couldn't stop talking about it. Two of my friends especially seemed really really happy, and were talking about it, but their words were as empty as the ones I heard before. Strangely, their words seemed a little convincing, but there was something that didn't didn't settle so well in my gut. I told them I found the speaker to be rather boring, but they got upset when I said that. I felt like I should be more cautious about what I say. Most of them had sort of a dreamy eyed expression on their faces.

I ran into a guy from my church, and started talking to him. He told me that he was going to have one of our friends (who is an international student) over to dinner. He said he invited a government agent over to try to expose our friend for who she really is. Hearing this sort of thing shocked me, but I just kind of mumbled something like "oh....ok...good." I started to feel like everyone was in some sort of hypnosis. That they were super obsessed with this new group here and whatever the speaker had said. I really wasn't sure what to do, except try to find someone who also wasn't affected by it. Why was I not so affected by it when other people were? What was going on?

When people would stop to ask me about how I was feeling and what I thought about that speaker, I was starting to get really worried....

And then I woke up.

um, okay. What's going on again?